Poem: Something is Wrong

Something is wrong, Lord.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I fumble around in the dark, searching, seeking for answers.

I know you are there- for in the distance I see the light-

It hangs above a cross and the darkness cannot overcome it.

It is this light that is guiding me through this wilderness.

Your son stayed here for forty days and forty nights-

And though he was tempted by the devil- who tried to give him all earthly power- He stood firm.

Maybe he was staring at the same light; but the darkness couldn’t overcome him.

Lord, I’m terrified.

I fall again and again and sometimes I wonder how much more I can take, but I keep going.

So here I am- knocked down by pain and fainting.

I pray for strength every time I get up.

Now the pain is nearly unbearable and I am scared.

Now the silent enemy attacks and I must put on the Gospel Armor and join the fight once more.

But I am weak and the arsenal is limited- I fight with medications, with stimulators, with a dog beside me.

I don’t know what to do except hold on; fix my eyes upon the light and hope for peace.

New Name, New Link

Hi All,

I explained in an earlier post that I was changing the name of the blog. It is now Adventures in falling!

The blog can be found here at:
http://adventuresinfalling.blogspot.com/

Go with God!

Sconesail

Dora: not just a medical alert dog

Dora decided to branch out and try her skills at being a fire, or at least a canine smoke detector this week. I loaded the dishwasher Thursday morning. It sounded kind of funny, but I just thought that a glass or spoon was shifting in the washer. I went into the living room to sit down. I didn't think anything of the noise at all.

About five minutes later, Dora started going crazy and running between me and the kitchen, specifically between me and the dishwasher. I got up to see what was going on. I went into the kitchen and Dora stopped in front of the dishwasher. It felt hot and there was a faint smell of smoke. I opened the dishwasher and discovered that a plastic Tupperware lid had fallen down and was interfering with the heating unit. I took it out, let the washer cool down, then started it again. The dishes got clean and Dora got to prove that she is a really good fire dog. I suggested she check in with the fire station down the block, but the position was taken. She also said she loved the variety of skills she is learning around me.

So here is to Dora, the amazing fire and fainting detection dog!

Go with God
sconesail

Name Change

I have decided to change the title of this blog. I did this, not only because I felt it was time for a change, but to more accurately reflect my current situation.

One of my parent's good friends used to say that he "Never travelled; He had adventures." Needless to say that life with fainting, headaches, and a service dog has proven to be quite an adventure.

Even though I didn't choose this disease and have no idea why I have it, I have to live with it. I will not let it define me. And I will fight with all I have. There are many times when I felt there are only two choices in dealing with the fainting- one can either cry or laugh. For the most part, I choose to laugh.

I promise there will be more Dora stories, poetry, and just life in general. Please join me in this new and crazy adventure!

Go with God!
sconesail and Dora

New Year, New leaves, and an update!

I know it has been a while since I last posted here, I thought I would update you on life in general.

In November, I had a horrible migraine that led to a four day hospitalization. But it did break.

Since then, I have slowly been getting back on track. I have made a few changes in my life- trying to get out more, looking for some part time work, cleaning. Basically, trying to see if doing things a little bit at a time will help. So far it seems to be working!

One of the worst things about migraine and fainting is the fact that it can hit you at any moment, but you still have to muddle through. But I know that I can and that I will.

Go with God,
sconesail

I know I have posted on this subject before, but a series of events has led me to add to the list, so here goes.

You might have a fainting disorder if:
- You faint in the gas station and one person immediately says- "Where's your dog? and she is fine- don't do anything" You have no idea who this person is, but she said she had seen me in the grocery store.
(Dora is in Jemison for some training.)

You have to laugh or cry and I choose to laugh!

Things you should never say to a Migraineur

Earlier this week, I read an article on 12 things you should never say to a Migraineur . There is a lot of truth in it. Over the past 16 years, many people have offered advice- some good, some bad, and some ugly. So I thought that I should add to the list. Here are top things that I hate to hear about migraines and fainting.

1. "Don't they have treatments for that now!" (said by someone at a dinner party)
2. "It must be rebound" (Too many doctors to count)
3. "There is no way you can still be in pain" (ER doctor after giving medicine that made me sick)
4. Don't cry, you will only make it worse!
5. If you pray hard enough, it will go away.
6. If you did more with your life, you wouldn't have this problem! (said by Nurse Practitioner
7. It is "all in your head!" (ok, yes migraine is a disorder of the brain, but this is usually said when someone means you are making this up.)
8. "How did it feel to be that close to death?" Said by Priest, after the ER overdosed me on medication.

I try very hard not to tell many people how much the migraines effect my life. If you look at me, unless you know me well, you would never be able to tell. I will talk about it, but refuse to make it my life. I think the basic etiquette in my book is to brush it off unless asked about it.

The fainting is a little different. It is visible at times. But the only thing that drives me crazy is being told that I am a liability or those who can't see that the 55 pound dog standing over me is alerting and doing her job. Again, I refuse to let this disease to ruin my life and continue to do my best to live with this.

God with God!