"Perk up," I am told, "Perk up!"
And so I am expected to put on a smiling face, be gracious, and play the part, betraying nothing of what I really feel, of the pain that I am in,
of my longing to crawl into a bed, curl up in a ball, and pray for this to go away.
But, dutifully, I play the part again-
Just so you won't have to see the pain or witness this horrible battle;
For I hate the pain, too.
But the part is exhausting and my weary eyes reveal the cost.
The mask is cracking beneath the weight of pain.
I long to take it off and say, "No, I shall not play the part today."
To tell you, that, for once, the pain is winning and that all I want to do is sleep until it ends.
But it will hurt you too much to see the battle, so I will put on the mask.
And each night I pray for this disease to release its grip on me, for the pain to lift, for medicine to work, and then I will not have to wear the mask.
For then, I shall be free.
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