Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Some Changes: Less poetry, More stories.
 
I know I haven’t been blogging as much lately. There has been a lot going on-both good and bad. I got a service dog.  The headaches are still bad. School has started- so I am back to volunteering and that helps a lot too.

Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking more this whole journey through migraines and fainting.  So I am going to introduce some more stories and things that have happened over the past fourteen years. So, in addition to many Dora stories, I have decided to introduce a “flashback” section of the blog. So welcome to my crazy life!

I can promise more stories, some good, some bad, but all have shaped this crazy life of mine.

Note: many names will be changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, and my friends.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Dora the Service Dog


Dora

I finally have a service dog! Her name is Dora, which means gift, and she truly is a gift to me. I have been on the waiting list for a service dog for about a year or so now. The service dog is an alert dog- she can pretty much give me a few seconds warning before I fall. This is great, as it allows me to get to the floor and such. She also stays with me until it is ok.

Though I have been on the waiting list with an organization, Dora came to me through a different route. The vet school located about 50 miles away trains dogs for TSA/homeland security. Due to the fact that I am fainting more, my parents are not getting younger, and other things, I thought I would call and see if there were any dogs who might work as service dogs, but didn’t make the final TSA cut. When I called, the person in charge told me that a lady who ran a service dog organization was coming to look at dogs later that week, so I asked if I could come too. He said sure.

As soon as they brought Dora in, she came over to me, and I passed out ten seconds later. This happened twice. The third time, Dora was across the room eating treats. She stopped, perked up, and began running to me, by the time she got there I was falling and she let me fall on her. After several people scraped their jaws off the floor, one said, “I think we just found S’s dog.” I spoke to the lady who ran the organization and she said it was pretty clear that Dora was “mine”. She also gave me the name of several trainers.

I picked her up on Monday and she has been doing great. She is a black lab and very calm. She is good at alerting. She starts training on Sept 1 and I will go up twice a week to train with her. I am so grateful to have her.

So a new adventure begins.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

You might have a fainting disorder if:

Your mother tells you to take some medication before you go to the cocktail party.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Balance of the Fight




I don’t understand this fight anymore.
Day after day, I fight this war against pain and fainting- using the greatest weapons at my disposal.
There are pills, potions, and medications that grant me a few hours of relief,
A sophisticated device is implanted in my skull to fight the disease and to allow the medicine to work.
And then there is the oldest and greatest weapon of them all- faith, prayer, and belief in God. These are my weapons, this is arsenal that grants me some respite, some peace.
And I know that I have no choice- I must fight this battle and I will win- and so day after day, year after year, I fight to lead a normal life.
But it is not the only war I have to fight.

This second front is worse- for it is here that others judge me.
Here the paradoxes multiply  and I fight just to keep the balance.
I must appear to be well when I am not.
I must mask the effects of medications that relieve the pain, so no one will see that I am in pain.
Though this daily pain would bring many to their knees, and have many begging for relief from pain, and it would be treated; I must keep calm, soldier on, and deny that I need a respite.

Lord, I am tired and I do not know what to do anymore.
I can fight the war against pain, but the battle here is overwhelming.
All I can do is fight, and pray, and hope that others will understand.
But one day, Lord, you will save me, you will take me to a place where pain will be no more,
And there I shall live in peace.