On Fear

I have seen it more times than I can count-

that look of fear deep in your eyes as you witness another fall.
I have seen it in the eyes of friends and strangers,
And because of this, my first thought upon coming to, no matter how scared I am is to show the world I am alright, even when I am not.
The problem is that I am scared too- I am afraid that one day, I will not bounce back quickly enough to calm the others, that I will cry and the world will know just how hard it is to maintain this façade. I am afraid that one day, something other than my pride could be lost to a disease that doctors are refusing to understand- one that is not normal, one for which there is no textbook..
I fall through space again, and come too on the hard concrete of the driveway, and there I see the fear where I have never seen it before- in the eyes of my father- a man of medicine, a man of science, a man who desperately wants to take this from his child, but can’t.
Then I remember something- that the only way to conquer fear is to live with it. And in the silence I remember all the words that give me comfort and I gaze upon a cross and know that the man who conquered death itself and gives us new life will be with me until this ends and until answer is found, will give me hope and strength and suddenly, I am no longer alone.